Pluto's Newly Discovered Moons

Post # 81 

      Take that Niel DeGrasse Tyson.  After he and his team of heartless cohorts declassified Pluto as a planet, Pluto has been discovered to have some qualities that are very characteristic of a "real" planet.  Namely, Pluto has been discovered to have multiple moons.  
      Actually I really like Niel DeGrasse Tyson.  His show is awesome.  He teaches the public basic scientific principles in a way that is engaging.  He also has a penchant for showcasing some of the new techs and breakthroughs.  His specialty, however is astronomy.  It was in this capacity that he and a group of other astronomers made the decision to declassify Pluto and other very small planets from their planet status.   According to what I heard Niel say, there was a  lot of angry fan mail over the decision.  Actually what they did was make new levels of classification, the planetoids and the planetesimals.  That didn't seem to matter to many people.  They liked their Pluto.  They spent a long time memorizing it in the list of planets.  For some people reprogramming their memory banks is as difficult as trying to reprogram their old Commodore 80 computer to function like a modern Mac, or even an I-Phone.  

      He explained the decision on an episode of MPR's Wait Wait Don't Tell Me.  "Saturn has moons bigger than Pluto."  Pretty simple explanation.  There are actually so many little planetoids and planetesimals being discovered on a regular basis that it actually obscures the significance of Pluto.  Some of the better known ones are Xena, Zenn, Santa, Sedna,  Quaor, and Orcus.  Sedna has a very elliptical orbit that at times comes close to Pluto, and extends half way to the edge of the Oort Cloud, and takes about 10,000 years to orbit the sun.  Xena is also very elliptical and at times more distant than Pluto, and sometimes moves in closer than Pluto.  Another planetoid was discovered even beyond Sedna.  It has the glamourous name of 1998 WW31. 
      My favorite episode with Niel DeGrasse Tyson wasn't on Nova Science Now.  It was actually an episode of Stargate Atlantis.  He played himself along side of Bill Nye.  My favorite part was when he and Nye were arguing with Rodney MacKay, and Dr. Keller told them to knock off the bickering and said "Stuff it Nye."  
      Anyway, back to Pluto.  Way back in elementary school, when we memorized Pluto as one of the planets, we also learned of Pluto's moon, Charon.  Pluto and Charon, Pluto and Charon.  Our teachers had us recite it so many times that it is firmly etched into the neurons of my prefrontal cortex.  Well folks, it's finally time to exchange that information you have stored in that Commodore 80 you call a brain (I know - it's not fair to say that - a good number of people have at least a Mac II E in their heads) and trade it in for a bigger and better computer, with more complete information.  It's time for an upgrade.  You need to download an update to your program.  Pluto has a total of five moons, not just Charon. 

                                                          An image from the Hubble

      Having a moon isn't completely special, and doesn't make a heavenly body stand out so much.  Even the tiny asteroid Ida, has an even tinier moon, Dactyl.  Having a crap load of moons, however, that almost changes up the game - almost.  It's like Pluto is out there in his chilly little area of existence screaming out, "Look at me.  I am so a real planet.  Please don't declassify me Niel DeGrasse Tyson and his accomplices.  I have five moons.  I really am a real planet, so take that."  "Sorry Pluto.  I'd hate to give you a complex here, but,.... you're just too little.  You can't sit at the big table with all the adults, but will have to sit at the card table in the other room with all the kids."    

                                  An artist's rendition of Pluto with five orbiting moons

      Astronomers have finally given names to these moons they discovered.  They are, in the order of their orbits: Charon, Styx, Nix, Kerberos (named after the three headed dog, Cerberus who guards Plutonium, the gates to Hell.  I find it odd that Hell would have a need for a bouncer.  But I guess that since people are dying to get in there.... No I'm not sorry for that one), and Pluto's last moon is Hydra.  Some of these moons are almost the size of Pluto.  
      Pluto might have a boatload of moons, but those moons still don't make Pluto a full fledged planet in good standing.  It's just too little.