Taxes Rain Supreme in Maryland

      I thought our taxes in Minnesota were bad.  The greedy politicians in Maryland are instituting a "Rain Tax."   Yes, you read that right.  When I first read about it I said, "Are you ......... serious?"  I wouldn't blame you for feeling the same way.  As ridiculous as it sounds, starting on July 1st residents in many parts of Maryland will be taxed on the rain that falls on their roofs, patios, driveways, and sidewalks. 
      The cause of this tax is due to some demands from the EPA.  My good friends (sarcasm) at the EPA, the ones who were such a major and constantly rising cost to my business that we couldn't afford to keep the doors open anymore.  Now the product and service we provided is done cheaply by companies in China and other places where there either is no EPA or their environmental rules are just ignored.  Enough of that personal rant.  What they did in Maryland is demanded that there be no more rain  run off into the Chesapeake Bay.  They demanded that the State of Maryland build a $14 billion dollar facility to catch all the rain water and get it all into the ground water tables, and not into the Bay.
      Maryland can afford this facility as much as you or I could afford a joyride on a space ship to the moon.  Therefore the government of Maryland decided to pass that cost on to others.  They couldn't pass the cost onto the one responsible for the rain.  Taking God to court, or fining Him doesn't work to well.  I suppose they could have tried to get the money out of churches, since they are supposed to be Christ's possession,... but so many churches today in mainline "churchianity" don't even believe what's in the Bible, that it would be too hard for government laymen to know which churches are really His.  So they went with plan B.  They are going to tax the people who get rained on.
     They will base this tax on how much rain falls per square footage of residents' roofs, driveways, sidewalks, and patios.  The homeowners will be assessed by information from satellite photos. 

If you seriously thought I was kidding about this, here's a protest against the tax

      People can avoid this tax if they build their own containment systems so that no rain runs away from their property.  They would have to catch and hold all the rain until it trickled down into the ground water.  If they do that, you know what's going to happen, don't you?  Their basements will either flood or collapse.  And if they're really lucky another government agency, the US Department of Forestry (when they're not busy lying to children about "Truffala trees) can declare their property a "wet land," and fine them, force them to move (but first pay to have their buildings demolished and removed and have the ground sanitized by a hazardous waste clean up crew), or both. 
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     There are some other bizarre tax laws already on the books.  Here are a few: 

In Colorado they have a tax on what they call non-essential food packaging in restaurants, fast food joints and C-stores.  This mean napkins are taxed.  I guess you have to bring your own napkins from home.  Cups for soda and coffee are ok, but not the lids.  Lids are taxed. 

People in Indiana are taxed for labor and design of custom made costumes (for Halloween, partys, and historical reenactments.   

In Kentucky you are taxed on candy that does not contain flour in it. 

Maine has a complicated boat sales and service tax   You are exempt if you are non-resident and take your boat out of state and don't ever bring it back.  If non-residents bring the boat back to Maine for any reason they pay 40% of the tax.  If you are a Maine resident you are taxed full no matter what you do with the boat.  They must hate boats there, not to mention their residents. 

In the state of New York you are taxed for visiting a haunted house.  And in The Big Apple you are taxed about 9 cents with a prepared food tax if you by your bagels pre-sliced.  That's 9 cents per bagel. 

In Washington since the 1960's they have had a dance tax for any place where dancing is available.