Would an Andrewsarchus by Any Other Name Still Look so Freaky?
Science Fridays
When I was a kid I was a huge fan of dinosaurs. From the time I was about three and a half to four years old I knew just about everything there was to know about dinosaurs - before I could even read. My first book about Dinosaurs was the "How and Why Wonderbook" simply entitled "Dinosaurs." I had a few other books in the "How and Why Wonderbook" series, but the Dinosaur book was definitely my favorite. My poor mom had to read that book to me over and over. While most kids would have their moms read "Winnie the Poo" or something, my mom had to read me the "How and Why Wonderbook" of Dinosaurs.
I memorized that book. I could rattle off all the facts about the dinosaurs, such as what they ate, how they moved, which geologic era they lived in, what their names were, and what their names meant in Greek. When my dad would have friends over he would have me come out to where they were and tell them all about the dinosaurs. I was normally a somewhat shy boy, but I had no problem delivering a lecture on dinosaurs to a group of adults.
When we finally studied dinosaurs in school there was nothing new I learned from those units. It made those units "slider" time for me, as I could ace it without trying. That was good, because I didn't do really well with most other subjects.
I had read most dinosaur books available to me and they all just reiterated the same stuff. Then came Robert Bakker. He turned the world of dinosaurs on its head. I found out after reading Bakker's works that in the ten years since I last read current theory, everything had changed. I liked the warm blooded theory, as I had even thought of that as a kid. The new positioning of the bones to make them more active looking, suited me fine. But they changed so may names, and the eras in which a few various species lived.
There was no more Brontosaurus. He became the apatosaur. Good old Trachodon was no more, but was now a duck billed hadrosaur. When I told a living room full of beer swigging adults about Dimetrodon and Edaphosaurus being Triassic dinosaurs, I was completely wrong. They weren't dinosaurs at all, but sailback reptiles, and they lived in the Permian. They ran like a lizard or a gator, swaying their bodies back and forth as they moved. In fact when I told these guys about the Triassic being one of the three periods of dinosaur history, it barely was. Very few true dinosaurs lived in the Triassic, and they didn't appear till late in the Triassic. The Triassic was dominated by reptiles that were hold out survivors of the Permian extinction, such as the dicynodont Placerias, and the long legged relative of the alligator, Postosuchus. Most of the true dinosaurs in the Triassic were small and quick, like Procompsognathus, and Coelophysis, and appeared later in the period.
Another surprise was the removal of the "flying dinosaur" species. They are no longer called dinosaurs, which I admit I don't really fully understand why. They have the bird like hips, the hollow bones, and were most likely warm blooded. Nevertheless, they are now called "flying reptiles."
What I also learned is the Permian was full of very cool beasts. Besides the sail backs, there were the dicynodonts, and the gorgonopsids. The gorgonopsids were almost mammal-like, were warm blooded and there is evidence that they probably had some sparse hair on their bodies. Every single species of them were lost during the Permian extinction, along with 90% of all other animal species.
The Permian also had the giant, naked tortoise, Scutosuarus (no shell, but a disconnected series of bony plates), and a few hold out species of the giant amphibians from the Carboniferous.
Two pictures of Scutosaurus
Then there was the Eocene, which followed the Cretaceous. There were giant, flightless, carnivorous birds, such as Gastornis, a.k.a. the terror bird. There was the Indricotherium, the largest land mammal ever. It was almost sauropod sized. There were many species of rhino looking animals that had weird horns all over their heads. And then there was the Andrewsarchus. At first glance you'd think it was some kind of giant bear or wolf-like creature. It was a huge predator (the largest land predator ever) with a jaw full of canine teeth. Instead of claws however, it had hooves. Yes, I said hooves. It was like some kind of weird monster from Dungeons and Dragons, bred with the aid of an evil wizard. It's name is supposed to mean "Andrew's Beast," named after its discoverer. However,...
Sarchus (Greek σαρχη) means flesh, or meat, hence "Andrew's Meat." That doesn't sound good, and I wouldn't want to be heard saying it in public. That's not all - it gets worse. The name Andrew comes from the Greek too, and its meaning makes the name of this creature even less appealing. Andros/andra (Greek άνδρος/άνδρα) means "man" and is sometimes translated as "husband." So the beast is named "Man meat" or "Husband meat." That's what happens when someone tries to name an animal without a basic working knowledge of Greek. Yikes.
Maybe years from now they will have changed all the names of these animals again. Then I will have to relearn them all over - again. If years from now they change Andrewsarchus' name, would it still be as freaky?
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