The Buzz About No Buzz

The Buzz About No Buzz

Science Fridays

      There are so many researchers, from so many universities in the world, researching so many different things, that it simply boggles the mind.  It's just like one of the side stories in Douglas Adams' Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy (inaccurately named trilogy).  With an infinite number of planets out there, it is only a matter of time before someone discovers various, standard household items, that naturally grow on one of these planets, so that they no longer have to be manufactured.  The planet in the story where this concept is brought up, is the planet where mattresses are grown.  The same principle seems to prevail concerning university research labs.  If there's something you can imagine - even really weird things - then there is probably a research lab somewhere already working on it. 
      Such is the case in the Department of Genetic Medicine at Weill Cornell Medical College in New York, the subject of today's post.  They are working on a vaccine against cocaine.  Yes, you read that right.  They have tested it on mice, and on primates already, and are about to go through the preliminary testing on humans.  That should begin in about a year. 
      Results of this research were recently published in the Journal of Neuropsychopharmacology (and I thought "Sundry Wonderments was a big name).  The article stated that the anti-cocaine vaccine prevented the cocaine from reaching the brain and producing a high.  

      According to the lead researcher in this project, Ronald G. Crystal, "The vaccine eats up the cocaine in the blood like a little Pac-man before it can reach the brain."  He went on to say, "Even if a person who receives the anti-cocaine vaccine falls off the wagon, cocaine will have no effect."  He said that this is good news for those who are committed to breaking their addiction. 
      There are over 1.4 million cocaine users in the US alone.  I'm not sure what the stats are for world wide use.  Something like this vaccine could end it though.  I'm sure that there would be some cartels that wouldn't like it though.  They seem to get pretty ornery when they get unemployed.  Maybe they can all find work at McDonald's - or Wal-Mart.  
      The way it works is so simple in its concept, I'm surprised that nobody has thought of this before.  The idea is simple enough that I could have thought of it (but unfortunately I didn't, so I won't be the one who gets the profits from all this- dang).  They took bits of an ordinary cold  virus and attached them to a structure that mimics the structure of cocaine.  Then they injected it into the body and let the immune system and antibodies do what immune systems and antibodies do.  The immune system produced specific antibodies to fight this (the cold virus bits), and in the process learned how to recognize the cocaine as the hostile invader that it is.  The result is that as soon as any cocaine enters the body, the antibodies move in to destroy it.  Awesome!
      Crystal and his research crew at Weill Cornell Medical College are focusing on using this for those who are already addicted and want to quit.  But what does the word vaccine usually mean?  They are usually preventative, not curative.  I say vaccinate everybody, especially those who are at high risk (pun unintentional, but I like it) for even trying it.  They say that addiction is a disease, and we get vaccines to prevent diseases, so start preventing.  And if this works, then why stop with just cocaine?  Make vaccines against them all - ecstasy, heroin, meth, LSD, and even pot and alcohol - the whole bunch of them.  And while they're at it make a vaccine for nicotine too, that nasty, over-addicting crap  
      If no one can get addicted from these things in the first place and can't even get a buzz from them, then I hate to sound utopian, but seriously, our world would be doing much better.  Medical costs alone due to these scourges would be eliminated.  So would damages from influenced driving (if we can just get them to stop texting now)  Besides that the crime attributed to them would also be gone (people would steal things and rob people for other reasons instead - such as greed or envy, but not to get enough money for their next buzz).  Add to this a multi-billion dollar illicit industry that funnels funds into terrorism and other BS would be destroyed.  Seriously, all those cartels would have to go hit the unemployment lines, and then take jobs at McDonald's, Wal-Mart, and cheap, dirty, third world factories.  I don't believe in Karma per say, but those who do would really like this scenario. 
      I say hats off to Robert Crystal and his research team.